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Friday, March 6, 2009

Imitative India Fails The Mahatma

So The Government of India has allowed Vijay Mallya to buy the Gandhian artefacts.

We all love Shri Mallya for the Great Indian Party Animal that he is and I am upset with the atrocious quality of Bagpiper the only booze that I can occasionally, very occasionally afford, but it is a little embarassing that the aspiring world super power could only get a daruwalla to return the Gandhiana.

So once again we hear the familiar old sound. Of the bottom being scraped.

I mean Vijay Mallya is a dear soul, but he is no Larry or Sergei. He is no Steve Jobs.

Tushar Gandhi says," So you expect a vegetarian, khadi clad Indian with the millions to buy it for you?"

Was a time, just a few decades ago when that was not such a Fellinian vision.

And ...let's not forget... its a T shirt clad American who has made the millions from our suited, booted and earringed tycoons.

Lagaan again?

The babulog ka babalog who dominate our tv news nowadays, are fashionable people.

They like to be seen as the true descendents of old Winnie.

They give the impression that they are using all the professional control they can muster, to say what they really want,"Gandhi was a naked fakir, and please I'd rather be discussing Karan Johar, so can we just move on already?"

"Gandhi was against modern allopathic medicine. The legal system. Insurance. Western toilets, miniskirts and the pub culture..." lashes missiamma at the Gandhian biographer and researcher.

Poor man has a taken aback moment.

"But that was Hind Swaraj..." he cries out almost holding up his hands to his face."That was so long ago..."

Sorry to interrupt, but both missiamma and man have missed something. The Mahatma was thinking about "the poorest of the poor and the weakest of the weak".

The "pub culture" was just what the European doctor ordered for the hapless European working stiff.

A fun, money spinning alternative to Marx's religion.

A place he could waste his meagre wages, drink himself silly and throw darts at a cork board, night after night after night. Till he got to Disneyland.

In India of course, our crack pot elite appears to be getting all girded up (or "girdled up"?)to fight the next War of Indian Womanhood on this very issue.

Just Do It.

Just put Bernie Madoff's mugshot on the Indian currency note and lets launch into our new destiny.

That will surely satisfy the souls of our treacherous "practical" dads.

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